"I never knew nothing but the spirit." ~ Mabel Mckay (basket weaver and medicine woman)
I have been told by doctors, to confirm an already present call within me, that I need to get my brain to heal my foot. I have heard many of my closest friends say, "Ally, if anyone can do that, it's you." And I can hardly believe that it has gotten to this point, still hurting as if I never rested it, as if I never did anything to heal it. What a disappointment, not being able to walk, not being able to bear weight on my heel at all, ten months later. My whole life has changed. I sit here now in place of intense discouragement in one moment, and intense hope in the next. Starting to feel that I do not have the power to heal my heel, and that all these healers that I am seeing may not possess that power either. Something bigger is at hand.
And now what floods my every thought is the voice of the spirit. A long time ago, I made a clear and conscious choice to live my life open to receive the best that the Universe has to offer me, to yield internally to the peace of God. And I asked, rather I begged, that my roots be sent rain- a cleansing, a strengthening for deeper roots that I may grow and be stronger so that all others may find a home in my solid ground. For the welfare of all living beings, I have sought the narrow path, the path to freedom. As I face this present circumstance that pervades my being, I embrace this time as a time of letting go, a time of discovering the truth of my Being, the essence that exists in us all, and a time to gain deeper, stronger roots. For we can only give away what we in fact possess. I will give strength, depth and joy, and all are welcome.
"I remember the awareness of the spirit of God that sought me out in my aloneness and gave to me a sense of assurance that undercut my despair and confirmed my life with new courage and abiding hope."
~ Howard Thurman
