My Imagination

I imagine a world where money
cannot buy freedom
I imagine a world where we only know homelessness
as being an emptiness of the heart
I imagine a world where we don't have to rely on food
coming from a country we've never seen
I imagine a world where prayer
is more valued than work
I imagine a world where we lust after peace
not sex and oil
I imagine a world where we are conditioned to hope
and not to fear
I imagine a world where preachers
are not begging for change
I imagine a world that shows forgiveness
instead of dropping bombs
I imagine a world where we think of success
as the uplifting of others
I imagine a world where children
are our school teachers
I imagine a world with open borders
and doors to our homes
I imagine a world where we are patient
for mysteries to be revealed
I imagine a world where we love
for the the sake of Love
I imagine a world where we dream and dream and dream
and where no dream is impossible

Finding Her Here

I am becoming the woman I've wanted
grey at the temples
soft body, delighted,
cracked up by life
with a laugh that's known bitter
but, past it, got better,
knows she's a survivor---
that whatever comes,
she can outlast it.
I am becoming a deep
weathered basket.

I am becoming the women I've longed for,
the motherly lover
with arms strong and tender,
the growing up daughter
who blushes surprises.
I am becoming full moons,
and sunrises.

I find her becoming,
this woman I've wanted,
who knows she'll encompass,
who knows she's sufficient,
knows where she is going
and travels with passion.
Who remembers she's precious,
but knows she's not scarce---
who knows she is plenty,
plenty to share.

Jayne Relaford Brown

perspectives

Abolition Art Instillation





Slow Food Rocks Festival



Happy in love- Pacifica sunset











Bear River, Auburn, Ca



Reunion with good friends- Cliff House, SF

Curryious Pits

Yesterday my armpits, no joke, smelt 100% like curry. It was not a mix between B-O and curry, it was full-blown Indian food in my armpit! The weird thing was, I ate a packaged curry dish well over 24 hours before. So it almost seems like the aroma came late. I was afraid that no one would believe me, so I waited to shower or put deodorant on until Justin could smell. And sure enough, it was curry! Strange.

Reminded.

It almost feels like 5 years ago I was in Uganda, but then again it could have been 5 days.

The concept of time seemed to slip away while I was there, time stood still while the whole world was spinning around me, and my life was transformed. Everything I believed in, everything I felt secure about, was challenged when I was placed in an environment unlike any I've been in before. The questions that arose, the emotions that I felt, the way I saw life, was so foreign and almost incomprehensible. There, I was stripped of all my comforts and forced to be myself and see myself. I was not a construct of the culture around me, I was not defined by what I did or what people said of me... I was me...free, sustained, passionate, and real. In my humanity, I tasted fear... heart break... grace... birth... death... celebration... the power of nature, peace, war, poverty, hunger, longing, friendship... Life resonated inside of me. I loved that I was alive!

There was a particular moment that I will never forget:
It was late at night, most of us were off to bed (when I say bed, I mean hammock). The girls we were staying with were doing what they did every night before bed, sang and danced together. I decided to walk over to them and join in. It was when they were almost finished, singing a soft, emotional, deep song, eyes closed. I quietly approached the beautiful sight. Sunday Patricia is a 17 year old girl with two children, one of them is Junior who she never let go of it seemed. Sunday was taken from her school by the LRA four years prior, was abused, raped, and forced to fight against her own people. Her smile is deep and true, almost makes you want to cry seeing someone so beautiful who had been through and seen so much.
When I came to the girls, Sunday was up against a wall, holding tightly on to Junior who was passed out asleep. Her eyes were shut, she was singing, maybe praying, softly and still. I noticed her tears falling, streaming down her face as she held her son. I saw as she wept, and wept, her pain was spilling over, she was alive. I started to weep as well. I was not able to control any emotion, any thought, I was captivated by her tears, for I felt like they were my tears as well. I touched her and held her and we cried together. This may have lasted 2 hours, I have no idea.

Before I left for Uganda, I kept considering the idea of passion. Webster's definition of passion is, "a suffering especially that of Christ's." Somehow I stumbled across this definition, and after I couldn't get it out of my head. While in Africa, Chris reminded our group of compassion...which means "to suffer with." In this context, compassion and passion are not just feelings and mushy or lovey-dovey crap, these words actually dive into the gut of what it means to be human. And in this, we are vulnerable, tested, and challenged.

I want to be reminded of this time I shared with Sunday. I may never know the reason why God allowed us to share that moment together, but it changed my life. It opened up a part of me that needed to be opened. I needed to know that we are not meant to live this life alone. We are meant to enter into each other's joys and pains.When you share joy it's two times the fun, and when you share pain it's half the hurt.

More on my Uganda experiences later...

My day off.

I feel like I hardly take the time to just be with myself and soak in the small, beautiful things in life. I realized that throughout my days, it's easy for me to point out things that bring me discomfort- "I'm tired...too much homework....I'm hungry...what am I doing in life?...when will our world change?" But when I intentionally take a moment to breath, reminisce, and count my many blessings, I am urged to let go of the mundane worries that I consume my brain with.

I learn at such an amazing school, full of diversity and people who genuinely want to make a difference in this world. Every day, I have the opportunity to listen and share with someone who shares common interests with me. Two nights ago I attended an event at my school put on by a group called Orange Band. These people are amazing. The group exists to create a community with people of all views to connect and have meaningful conversations to bring empowerment and integrative thinking. Monday, there was a speaker who shared about building a green future. It was so inspiring and uplifting to hear from him. Afterwards we broke into small groups and began talking with one another and listening.

My group discussion focused on self-care and self-growth. I was so touched by the integrity and openness of each person I was talking with. Everything was so real, so true and so beautiful. There we were, five humans from different walks of life, connecting and feeling with each other in depth. I was so encouraged by this, knowing how blessed I am to share passions and deep longings with people I don't even know. I walked away from the night with a feeling that I had felt, in some sense, the reason of our being.

What a gift of life... to take time out of our day... to share with one another... to remember what's important... to grow.

I took the day off today after school to spend time in reflection and admiration for the amazing things in my life... no moments ever wasted.

Freedom

Justin and I are taking a workshop for six weeks on modern-day slavery. The series is called "Abolition," and it is basically a grassroots movement to try and learn how we can end slavery here in San Francisco. When I bring this up to people, the common reaction I receive is "what? there's no slaves in San Francisco!" It is so clear that the average person is not aware that 27 million people are enslaved right now, and not only that, we have the power to set them free. Thousands of women, mostly from Southern Asia, are tricked into coming to America and then forced as sex slaves in brothels throughout our cities. These brothels are legally "message parlors" or "spas" - open way passed midnight. These parlors are near our homes and our jobs, and we are oblivious. Plus, there are thousands more slaves working our restaurants or as maids in our suburbs or in the fields on our land. Across the seas, children are forced to harvest our coffee, our sugar, our cocoa for chocolate, or work in factories to produce our clothes and house goods.

I write about this because not only is it on my mind, but because I believe that "no one is free unless all are free." Please, can we free ourselves in the pursuit of serving others, in the uplift of all. "For to be free is to not merely cast ones chains off, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

When we have people who are captives, we as a society are saying that we are okay with allowing someone, as human as us, be enslaved...I am not free then, because this implies that others are just as okay with ME not being free.

What will we choose to do?